I think I might have been five years old and it was a Saturday, my favorite day. This was the day if I was super lucky, my dad would take me, (not brother-stage right), to the little red diner in town.
We’d sit on the twirling stools, bellied up to the counter eating fried- chocolate covered donuts and washing them down with ice cold chocolate milk.
We didn’t always talk much, but the companionship and donuts was a pretty special combination. I felt special too.
This wasn’t always the case.
I learned to associate sweet treats early on with feeling good and feeling loved. I was being wired to equate this white sugary substance to having the love and companionship I dearly wanted in my little girl life.
Thinking back- eating sugar was like taking a hit of something, it was immediate and took me out of the here and now. Little did I understand that this was the shot of insulin that coursed through my body. then the dopamine shooting colors of bright red through my brain (the feel good chemical, almost identical to cocaine). And then of course the crash.
Something I didn’t pay any attention to until my body broke down years later.
I now call this numbing or more accurately, heart hunger. I used food a.k.a sugar to numb myself, from feeling lonely, anxious, fearful or bored; it became my best friend and my very worst enemy. This realization helped me see that heart hunger can never be filled with food, but with the special people who love me and whom I love. Freedom is a miracle walking…
As I was figuring this out, I had to get uncomfortable, before I could be comfortable. I actually started to listen to my feelings and not use food or sugar to make my life better. It took fortitude and courage to be successful at making the change. I know you have it in you to do the same…
If this resonates- then I know you. Now you need to know yourself, time fess up!
How have you associated sugary foods to feeling good?
If you’re ready for true transformation, I’d love to help you identify triggers in your life that cause harmful eating habits and how you can overcome them with healthier choices.
Lesslee Belmore, Weight Loss & Fitness Strategist